DESERT DIARIES | PART II . WIND
I’ve been actively working with Wind (not gentle breezes which I welcome) but thrashing winds since we moved out to the desert in September . not having spent much time here before we decided to move, it was not something I was in any way prepared for . I grew up on the east coast, near Cape Cod, so hurricane winds I have dealt with . they are forcasted, you expect them, and they come + go, leaving their mark . sometimes a devastating one . but desert winds, for me, feel different, perhaps a bit more relentless, seemingly coming out of nowhere + staying for as long as they please . today was particularly challenging . this desert as guide + teacher, I’ve said it again + again before, SHE forces you to deepen your relationship with the elements . anything that you may have skimmed over before, perhaps just from not knowing the importance of it or even thinking your relationship was already solid, will firmly be brought to your attention.
To be fair, there are aspects of wind or AIR that I feel fully at peace with . the energies of the east, the spirits of blessing herbs, and of activated breath, and of gentle gusts that birds float on . ushering change in both temperature + perspective . but ferocious winds…mmm still not sure. .
some emotions that come BOILING up to the surface for me from thrashing winds include deep frustration that turns into anger, even rage if I’m being fully honest, the feeling of being out of control, just hearing it relentlessly press against our old windows taps directly into my anxiety centers, and I feel deeply nervous for some reason that it won’t end . my whole body tenses.
And so in lies THE WORK . and my work with it, her, him (I guess, to me, wind feels more masculine) has included standing outside and just closing my eyes, fully surrendering, letting my body go a bit limp, letting my hair go all over, + breathing into the chaos . I can only do this for so long though at the moment before anxiety + frustration take over . my work also continues in studying a bit of Wind’s importance in TCM and the influences of Wind on the the internal + external organs, along with its effects on Qi . from what I am reading Spring can draw ferocious winds that then have internal affects on the Large Intestine and then later in the season the Liver . Wind has quite a complex meaning in TCM so there is much to learn here.
So my thoughts from today are that I still have quite a bit of building to do with this teacher of Wind . which is ok . but for now at the end of a day of leaning into it, I find myself SELF soothing with a hot ashwaganda tonic, a long biomat session, some music, and color breathing.